I live within walking distance of a major grocery chain and make frequents jaunts over to pick up random items (normally something I realize I need to finish a recipe I’ve found online). However, I try to do a bigger shopping trip every couple of weeks. For this trip I ALWAYS make sure I have a list.

I’ve tried putting the items I need on my phone using special shopping and generic list apps, but good old pen and paper lists still work the best for me. When I use my phone I get too distracted by things like texting, the internet, and whatever game I’m currently obsessing over (right now it’s Plague Inc., you get to play as an infectious disease, how cool is that?!). I like the feel of having something tangible in my hand while wandering grocery aisles and the even more invigorating thrill of physically crossing out items.

However, when I reach the checkout there always seems to be one item that has magically made it into my cart without me consciously realizing. Now this normally wouldn’t be a problem because I use self-checkout, but on my larger trips there are too many types of produce and wonky shaped items to brave the self-checkout. Therefore, I suffer the embarrassment of having a checker see my shame. What is this shame you may ask? It’s always some product that is specifically marketed to children. Though I have a youthful nature, there is really no reason I should be buying these things because there are perfectly acceptable adult alternatives.

Here are some of my most shameful items and potential adult alternatives that could have saved me from blushing.

  • Shame: Juice Boxes or Juice Squeeze Bottles
  • Thought Process: Oh look how cute, they are so convenient and in single servings! And look at the fun flavors!
  • Adult Alternative: Juice
  • Thought Process: Just buy juice and drink it out of a glass, it’s not that hard to pour a liquid, you have adult sized hands. Also, those fun flavors the kid versions have are fun…in the sense that they taste only like sugar.
  • Shame: Lunchable
  • Thought Process: How nice my entire lunch in a little pack! I can make myself a little cracker sandwich and then have my funsized dessert!
  • Adult Alternative: Buy things to make a real sandwich.
  • Thought Process: If you make a real sandwich you won’t be hungry after 20 minutes (like you are every time you eat a Lunchable). Also, remember how wet and weird that meat is, you could potentially not eat that if you took the time to make an actual sandwich with actual ingredients.
  • Shame: Sugary Character Cereal (Lucky Charms, Coco Puffs, etc.)
  • Thought Process: I remember eating this as a kid! It was super good then so it must be super good now!
  • Adult Alternative: Cereal with like fiber, nuts, and other healthy things…wheat?
  • Thought Process: Just buy the healthy cereal so no one judges you and then add your own sugar until it tastes good.
Paige Stewart

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One Response

  1. Crystal M says:

    Hahahahaha! Paige, you are too funny! I admit that I do the same thing, like the Fruitabu fruit rolls. I could totally buy an adult-like fruit strip, or you know, just eat some fruit, but I LOVE the fruit rolls! I walk around with them hanging out of my mouth. LOL. Also, I am totally guilty of eating Cocoa Puffs. It’s one of my favorite (mostly) gluten-free cereals.

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